08 September 2008

A conversation on FetLife

So I just got this email:
miss Bellaforte,
Bows head in respects, I am just starting my quest in networking my way around after being a 24/7 for the last 6.5 years. I would like to know as many people as I can from all over the country as I am not sure where I may end up.
Thank you for your time.

Ok, so that isn't his name. But it might as well be.
I don't get this. Seriously. Do you think that randomly emailing people because their picture shows tits (and mine surely does. See? Here) and telling them you want to create ties with them creates any kind of tie I'd like to have.
In sociology, there're what we refer to as 'strong ties' and 'weak ties'.
My strong ties are with, say, Kat. Or the guys at the Harley dealership hang out with at Hooters every Wednesday night for Bike Night. Or my boss/teacher who is helping me get accepted to GSU.
Those are strong ties. People who actually know me, and have a connection to ME.
Weak ties are the proverbial 'friend of a friend'. The guy my godfather has known forever who he sends me to to get my car worked on. The lawyer friend of my father's whom I hope desperately will explain my trust agreement in something that resembles english. The electrician that my aunt has used since he was a teenager.
These are weak ties.
I'm sorry, but personally I can't view someone who's only randomly emailed me as anything but a weak tie.

Now don't get me wrong. I have a friend in Canada I've never met. I've shared my most intimate secrets with her via Livejournal for 5 years. I have her address and she has mine. I have her counselor's phone number and send presents every Solstice to her children. I've never met her in person, but she is my friend.
She is, however, the ONLY person I am willing to say that about, and I say it about her only because she has been there for me through my divorce, through an emotionally abusive "D/s" relationship, through the death of my mother, my roommate, and my best friend in Florida, through finding out how badly my mother screwed me, and starting school, and meeting Jack, and exploring my own interests.... through, well, everything in the past 5 years.
That is a strong tie.

Random boy who doesn't even have anything to say directly about me (a comment on my profile or one of my pics maybe? something to show that he did more than just picture skim?) is a weak tie, and is unlikely to ever be anything else.

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