Learning

This week has been... eventful.
I'm writing this from the car, while Jack drives. I had planned to wait, but the words are swimming through my mind like brightly colored fish, and I know that if I don't set them down they'll turn elusive, like little silver minnows in a stream.
I feel sad tonight, as we are driving south on I-65. I don't want to return home, but I know that it's time and past. It's been time and past, and I've shirked my responsibilities long enough.
I learned a lot about myself this week, though, and some of it makes me sad as well.
I learned that Honda parts aren't as ubiquitous as one would think, especially when they're for a car they made for 3 years, more than 15 years ago.
I learned how tight the turning radius of my car is not, and how useful it is to have a mechanic as an old flame.
I was reminded that attractive packaging doesn't always mean sound strength, and to never make snap judgments when blinded by greed.
I learned that I have more limits than even I realized.
I learned that I have less control over my own heart than I thought, and that sometimes my emotions can still surprise me.
I learned that I have even more amazing people in my life than I thought- and that is quite impressive.
I learned that I have a mild fear of heights, but that I'm okay as long as I don't look down.
I learned that I am better at saying 'no' than I have ever been before.
I learned that I am more androgynous in my own head than I realized, and that I am not entirely happy with being a female.
I learned that I have some resentment toward the men in my life for the male privelege they never notice.
I learned that while I am comfortable with being publicly sexy, and even to an extent sexual, I am not comfortable with being intimate in public.
I learned that I have a great deal of compassion for the male burdens women never notice.
I learned that I find gay bois really, really fucking hot.
I learned that I am more selfish than I realized, and that that can make me hate myself for short periods of time.
I learned that I am incredibly uncomfortable with feeling like a burden to others.
I learned that I am less my father's daughter than I realized, because I am incredibly uncomfortable with skeeving off my responsibilities, no matter how short the time or legitimate the reasons.
I learned that I am terrified of the commitment of owning a house.
I learned that Jack and I are both stronger than I realized, and more fragile.
I learned that Garmins are epic-fail at getting around Atlanta.
I learned that I am not glad to be back in my hometown, and in fact resent the necessity of returning.

ETA after arriving back in town and watching "True Blood" with some friends:
I learned that while I won't miss much about my hometown, I will very much miss my friends here.