24 October 2008


Last night, at the end of a long, complicated dream, the plot of which involved me being the middle or possibly oldest daughter of a large family, my mother nearly died.
In the dream, I sprinted across the blacktop in my bare feet, the long skirts and petticoats tangling around my legs until I cursed them. My mother- actually my adopted mom is who she truly resembled- was sitting in the front seat of a car, obviously recovering from some kind of petit mal seizure or similar event (I will not discuss the juxtaposition of my wearing petticoats while my mother was in a car. It was a dream. Get over it, I have)
I threw myself down next to her in the panic reaction I never allow myself in real life, bawling into her chest that she can't go away, that I love her.
Her voice was strained but her words were soothing, I will never lose her.
I woke up with sobs heavy in my chest.

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I am just your ordinary average every day sane psycho supergoddess