Campsites

I talked to a very dear friend today, and it made me think about some things (once the homicidal rage and overwhelming need to hold him and make every pain he has ever endured go away, that is).


Dan Savage wrote not long ago about the "Campsite Rule", in which your job when dating someone younger than you is to, like a campsite, leave them better than you found them.

But why is that confined to those younger than us? I say that as someone who almost exclusively dates people older than her- I'm 24. Most people younger than me are idiots, to be blunt. But if, say, Jack and I were to break up (heaven forfend), he would be (I like to think) a better, more well-rounded and relationship-savvy person for it. I know that I would be.

So here's my take on the Campsite Rule:

everyone is your campsite. Everyone you talk to, everyone you have sex with, everyone you hang out with. If you're not improving them, and their life, in some way, then why are you there?

If you haven't made them feel a little more cared about, a little more accepted, understood, challenged, wanted, emboldened, strengthened, heard, wiser from your company, then why are you in theirs?

We're all fragile, folks. We've all got fears and insecurities and issues, and we're all just trying to feel safe, wanted, accepted. Every heart is a fragile thing, so don't forget to handle them with care.