21 February 2009

Genderfluid loving

I want him here, in front of me. I want to heal the hurt in his eyes, and almost more than that I want him bent over my bed. 
I want him so deeply that it's a low ache in the pit of my stomach. 

I can see him now, in a long pencil skirt which emphasizes his beautiful legs, a cowl-necked blouse softening the width of his shoulders and emphasizing his tiny waist. I can see him in shiny, patent heels, walking toward me with an uncertain look in his eyes. 
His woman-self has been hurt, decried, and it complicates my craving for her. 
The hurt that she was caused, that I was a part of, complicates the image I have of her in my mind's eye- the soft swell of breasts and sweet little ass, the long, beautiful legs encased in sheer thigh-highs. 
I want this part of him- this her- and that wanting is complicated and mixed in with my desire to heal her pain and express my love for this side of him, that is her. 

I want it, though. Want to walk beside her with my cock heavy in my slacks, my already-masculine gait modified by its weight. Want to bind my breasts down and open doors for her like a gentleman, then press her to the floor beneath the weight of me. I want to drag her skirt up her thighs, leaving the heels and thigh-highs in place, and pull lacy panties out of the way for my cock, which is already aching. 

I love him as a boy. And I am learning that I love him as a girl. It took nearly losing her to begin to see that. 

In my mind's eye, I see my hands, devoid of their feminine rings for once, sliding up those thighs I know so well as a boy and seeing anew as a girl, slipping on the unfamiliar texture of the thigh-highs, which I've only known on my own skin, feeling the elastic slip into skin too soft to be a man's as my fingers travel higher, find scratchy-soft lace and what for this moment is my cunt. 
The only cunt that I have, today. 
The only cunt that I want. 
I can feel my lubed fingers sliding inside, hear the little gasps and moans that drive me completely insane in either gender. 
I can feel the urgency building, and I understand suddenly why so few men take the time that women want. This is intoxicating, and I want to press immediately into her- no lube, no prep, just my body owning the beautiful one beneath me.  
Just this body, this man who today is my woman, writhing beneath me and moaning, begging me for more while I ride her.

It took almost losing her to begin to learn how much that I need her.

I'm sorry, my darling. 
I want you.  


  1. Great Post - your descriptions are powerfull, elequent and erotic......

    MMmmmmm thanks for sharing..


    slave to "Mistress Lady Vixen"

  2. I've taken the liberty of publishing this piece (acknowledged) in my blog, please let me know if this is not ok.

    If you look around you'll see I've had some genderfucks of my own, albeit with genders reversed


About Me

My photo
I am just your ordinary average every day sane psycho supergoddess