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I'm alone tonight. Jack and the Navigator are at a hockey game, and I'm curled up on the couch with our two dogs (Sarah is still up for adoption, if you know someone interested, let me know!), writing and thinking. 

I'm happy right now. In that bone-deep contentment sort of way, that until now I had never felt for more than a few moments at a time. 

I am not escaping my life, as I once had to to feel happy. 

I am living it. 

I am living it here, in this new house which feels like mine (despite being rented!)

I am living it here, in the city I love. 

I am living it here, surrounded by people who love me. 

Lucivar asked me if I will go to the play parties tonight. 

I don't know, honestly. 

I don't really feel a need to. The knowledge that I live here now, and that they will be here regardless of whether I choose to go this night or not is strangely comforting. 

I don't feel my usual frantic drive to see everything, do everything, that I usually do when I am here. 

I don't have to do it this weekend. I live here now. 

There will be other weekends. 

And that single thought makes me happier and more content than I have been in years.