29 December 2008

Reposting

So I still don't feel like writing much- after 2 weeks of moving insanity, and another full week of Jack and I alternating being sick, the last thing on my mind is kink.
Ok, so it's still on my mind. And a lot, at that.
But the last thing I have energy to devote to is kink. 
So there. 

So I'm reposting this awesome bit of information from Catalina Loves. If you read the shit I write, then you almost certainly already know this, but I bet you know someone who doesn't. Tell them. Seriously. If everyone knew these things, the world would be a better place.

A friend of mine is a very high-end escort, a courtesan if you will.  A lot of our conversations revolve around how we would like to tap into our experiences in the sex industry to our benefits.   It gave me the idea to write this post about what I have learned about society and sexuality through other women’s husbands.  Because good things come in seven, I’ve thought of 7 lessons I’ve learned from men about men.

1) Your husband really doesn’t give a shit about your body.  Sure, he has a preference - thin or fat - but ultimately men aren’t as concerned with your bodies as you are.  Most men have told me that they are ultimately turned off the most by listening to their wives bitch and moan about their bodies and wish that they would just stop bitching about it and either do something about it or embrace it.  Let me assure you, my body is not perfect after two babies, but that is completely unimportant - what matters is that I act sexy even if my body isn’t society’s standard of sexy.

2) Your husband really wants you to give him more head and he really wants to go down on you more!  There are men I’ve known who have never, in 30 years of marriage, ever given or received oral sex because their wife simply won’t.  Some women have been taught that they smell bad or taste bad, or that oral sex is just nasty and won’t have a thing to do with it.   Not only do men want oral sex, but past clients of mine have paid me just to give me oral sex.  So let me get this straight, you want to pay me to get me off with your tongue?  God Bless America.

3) Your husband is as lonely as you are.  Try giving him a little attention, get off the internet and stop reading sex blogs and have sex (but not until you leave a comment, of course!)  Seriously, a lot of men are very lonely and just want to interact, married men who crave human touch are baffling to me - how can you sleep in the same bed and not touch each other?  Just touch him.  Give him a massage, rub his head, caress his thighs and give him the sweet attention that you would love to receive.

4) More men see sex workers than you’d think.  The responses I used to get were plentiful and made me wonder if anybody is monogamous or if everybody just claims to be.  People look down their noses at polyamory or open relationships as though they are morally questionable, yet those same people claim to be monogamously married while sleeping with a sex worker.  Apparently if you pay for sex it doesn’t count as cheating.

5) Men really do crave that threesome with another woman, but they would also be happy if you’d just talk about it and fantasize about it without getting uptight.  A lot of men have shared with me that they don’t know if they really could ever go through with a threesome, but that they think it would be hot to just talk about it in bed during sex with their wives.  However, these same men are afraid to even ask for this because of the negativity waterfall it will create by the mere mention of another woman.

6) Men love assplay.  As a sex worker, my best cients and most loyal customer base were men who solicited me because I would play with their ass and balls.  A lot of men (A LOT OF MEN!!) really love the idea of being taken by a woman with toys and even more men desire strap-on play but are afraid to tell their wives.  It’s a huge threat to their masculinity and a lot is at stake to ask for ass play, especially if your wife won’t even suck your cock (see #2).  Slide in a finger next time and play with his prostate just like he would with your g-spot and see what happens!  It’s an entirely different kind of orgasm and he will never forget it.

7) Men are willing to spend a lot of money when they are horny.  Men, I’m saying this because I feel like a lot of people think that women are the exploited ones in sex work, but I am willing to go out on a limb and say that men are the truly exploited ones - paying substantial amounts of money to fulfill a basic human need.

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I am just your ordinary average every day sane psycho supergoddess