19 August 2013

Kink After Kids

A few random thoughts on kink post-kids:

  • They're amazing at finding bruises with pointy little knees and elbows
  • Gags are useful when your only set of eyebolts is 10' from the toddler's bedroom door
  • Toddlers are terrifyingly handy with a short singletail. Mine has managed to catch me across the face with it twice... AFTER my attempts at hiding it in the closet failed miserably.
  • Fetish parties don't happen anymore, unless you have a spare $60 for babysitting on top of the cost of going to the party
  • It's amazing how much that can make me miss my community
  • The 19mos old is the biggest sadist in the household
  • On the previous note, kinkiness is clearly genetic. Ours has never seen us play, and yet takes canes, whips, or whatever else he can find (his current favorite is Mommy's dressage whip, which she can't seem to hide well enough) and beats the dog (surprisingly lightly, since I have seen him swing that sucker hard enough it'd have left welts), then set aside the whip and start petting her. 

I seriously wish I were kidding about all of these things. 

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