My men

I'm thinking of old memories tonight, old lovers and yes new ones, too.

I'm thinking of the scent of Wolf's hands on my skin, and the way that Lucivar's eyes look when he touches me.

I'm thinking of the sweet-sharp ache that they both leave in my heart without ever realizing it.

I'm thinking about the men I love tonight, and about the ones whom I've let go. I'm thinking about the Ranger, who never knew the difference he made in my life, and about Fox, my erstwhile brother whom I will likely never see again.

I'm thinking tonight, thinking about that ache in my heart and what makes it worthwhile. Thinking about the warm circle of safety that my Jack's arms create around me, and about the gleeful evil in USB's eyes.

Goddess of Light and Darkness, I love these men in my life. I love the depth of surrender in Kat's eyes before I punished him that night, and the overflowing love in Joseph's the morning I made him his birthday cake.

I love these men who love me, who hurt me, who heal me, who leave me and who stay with me.

I'm thinking of the depth of Nevoc's trust in me, and the despair on Devilpup's face before he left.

I am thinking of my men, and those who aren't my men anymore.

I am thinking of the sweet-sharp ache in my heart, and of those who put it there, whether witting or un-.