I just gave Sarah to my godfather. He’s disabled, from a motorcycle accident. He lost his left foot just above the ankle. He’s at home most of the day, so she’ll be a good companion. She… wasn’t impressed. Their apartment smells like smoke, and he is loud and can be pushy.
Sarah is extremely shy, and spent the first 20 minutes hiding in my lap. It took me 35 to get her into his lap, and the rest of the evening to convince her that she couldn’t keep running back to me.
I cried as I drove away.
Don’t tell me that she’s better off, and don’t tell me that it needed to be done.
Do you think I don’t know that?
But you know what else that I know? I know that we’re all strays, and we’re all just looking for someone to love us.
I took her in, and then I abandoned her again.
She tried to run out with me when I opened the door to leave. I nearly cried as I shut the door while she watched me leave with big, frightened eyes.
I'm sorry.
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I have a strong urge to gather you up in my arms and tell you it's okay. Of course, there's a 50/50 chance you wouldn't let me mother hen you like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I got to meet Sarah before her journey took her elsewhere.
Shit... I'm so sorry. Giving up an animal, especially one you "saved" is such a hard thing to do. I'll spare you the lines that you already know, they're not going to make you feel any better. I'm guessing that you loved her so well while she was yours that she'll have the ability to adapt to her new home.
ReplyDeleteI'm searching right now for homes for 2 of my 4 dogs, and it's killing me. They were born under my bed on Thanksgiving 4 years ago... but no apartment is going to rent to us/me with 4 dogs, especially when 3 of them are over 75 lbs. So the plan is to keep the old man (150 lbs) since he's sort of a "companion" to lil guy, and the Pomeranian.
But giving up Panzer... the most fragile, anxious, lazy, lovable beast I've ever met, and Sierra, who, once you get past her super high energy levels, is nothing but a lap dog in a 75 lb body and wants nothing more than to be touching her humans at all times... it's killing me. And I know with everything else going on, dogs should be the least of my worries. But they're not.
Aww. I'll miss the Sarah-dawg... But I'm sure Noka will be happy to have all the attention back :)
ReplyDelete*snugs* I know it wasn't easy, but you know you did the right thing.
--Cat <3