Call for Submissions

The fabulous Essin' Em is putting together an anthology on Sex and Dis/ability. If you feel like you qualify, please, by all means, send in a submission!

Call for Submissions (Anthology)

Working Title: Sexual Ability: Embracing the Intersection of Sexuality and (dis)Ability

Editor: Shanna Katz, M.Ed, Human Sexuality Education, Widener University

Contact: sexualability@gmail.com

Submission Deadline: March 31, 2009

Even as we approach the end of the first decade of the 21st century, there is still a large gap in people's minds when they think about sexuality as it relates to people who are disabled, whether cognitively or physically. While some studies have been performed regarding the potential for differently-abled people to lead satisfying sexual lives, in which satisfying seems to center around the ability to orgasm, very little has been written about the experiences involving the sexualities and experiences of people who identify as handicapped/disabled/differently-abled, as well as their partners.

People of all ability levels are sexual beings. Sex is hard enough to navigate and negotiate when one fits in with society's notions of what a sexual being is, but once you add in the concept of ability, it can become quite challenge. This anthology, Sexual Ability, seeks to bring forward the stories, challenges and experiences of differently-abled people and their partners, putting a face on the trials that so many valuable members of our society must face. By sharing the experiences of the disabled community in relation to sexuality, Sexual Ability hopes to challenge people's viewpoints, foster discussion and conversation, and open doors towards a shift in the social constructions surrounding sexuality and disability.

Essay submissions should be well thought out, and written in a scholarly manner. Acceptable submissions can be in the form of short research papers, non-fictional accounts of personal experience(s), discussions on issues regarding sexuality and disability, etc. Fictional pieces/erotica will NOT be considered. Each author may submit a total of two (2) essays for consideration.

Some topics that authors might consider (but are certainly not limited to) include;

*Coming out to a new partner and facilitating the "disability discussion"

*Reclaiming words surrounding sexuality and disability, such as "crip," "handicapped," etc.

*Issues within the medical community; talking with doctors about being sexually active when you're differently-abled.

*Having to create new sex techniques, positions, conversations, or having to re-define the traditional definitions of sex, etc.

*Disabled and queer, disabled and of color, disabled and religious; reconciling multiple identities alongside sexuality.

*Re-conceiving your sexuality after loss of previous abilities, either solo or with a partner.

*Ability and kink; negotiating within the BDSM community when differently-abled.

*Sexuality and ability through out different cultural experiences.

*Portrayal of disabled people in the media (film, TV, art, advertisements, etc) and the connection to sexuality.

*Disability rights; the fight for them, and how they affect sexuality amongst the disabled community.

*Birth control/contraception; getting it, using it, adapting it, as well as pregnancy/adoption/abortion.

*Creating your identity as a disabled person who is a sexual being; how did it evolve, and what was your journey.

*Any other subjects you feel cover the topic of sexuality and (dis)ability.

  

By March 31, 2009, please send:

*Your 2,000 – 6,000 word submission, as a word document attachment. It should be titled as such: SubmissionTitleAuthorName.doc (example: SexualAbility.ShannaKatz.Doc). Submissions must be received in 12 point Times New Roman font and sent in via Word documents (other files and cut/pasted text will not be accepted).

* Your complete contact information, including legal name, pen name (if you have one), phone number, email, address, and website (if you have one).

*A 50-100 word biography about yourself.

Please submit the above to: sexualability@gmail.com with the subject line of "Sexual Ability – Submission." Submissions will be read and reviewed as received, but decisions will be made final by July 2009. Please note that accepted submissions will be approved on a tentative basis, pending editorial board approval once the anthology has secured a publisher.

Questions can be directed to Shanna Katz at sexualability@gmail.com or please visit the Sexual Ability MySpace page at www.myspace.com/sexualability.

Please distribute widely. Feel free to post on blogs, websites, social networking sites, listserves, etc.

A note: I would not dare to define what disabled/handicapped/differently-abled meant to anyone. Please do not ask me if your disability counts; if you or your partner identify as such, then I welcome your submission to this anthology.

Burned

My home fries burned. 

I'd say I feel bad about this, but I'd be lying.

Right through my teeth.

Because you know why they burned?

They burned because I was on the kitchen floor, sucking Jack's cock while he beat me over the shoulders and back with his belt. 

Yeah.

Who needs food after that?

Happy. Just... happy.

Night Moves

I woke up this morning, still wet from Jack's face between my thighs. 

No, I still wasn't feeling 100%, but he's so damned cute when he's being a horndog.

I swear, in any other male this constant desire- and insistence on expressing it- would be annoying as hell.

In him, though, it makes me blush and giggle like a virgin. 

And give in. 

Oh, it took some giggling and squirming and figuring out, but it wasn't long before we were kissing (albeit carefully, since I was still congested) and making out (albeit gently since I was still a little sick) and laughing. 

He pulled away from me, showing me his beautiful, erect cock. 

This is what you do to me, just kissing and playing with you, he told me. 

I melted inside. I love knowing that I do that to him. Love it. 

I beckoned to him impatiently, throat still too sore to talk much- and therefore too sore to do what I so wanted to- but not too sore to play with my very favoritest toy. 

He straddled my chest, thighs across my breasts, hands tight on the headboard while I played with him. 

Licking up and down his shaft, sucking the head of him tightly into my mouth... not far, not far at all... but far enough. Swallowing the purple head of him inside my soft, pink mouth, and looking at him all the while. I knew the expression on my face, the evil joy of it. Lilith must have looked at Adam like that, because Eve never would have. 

I love teasing him. Scraping my teeth gently over that sensitive little helmeted head, lathing the underside of it with my tongue, the twin sensations enough to make him groan and grip the bed hard enough to make the antique wood creak. 

Eventually, though, in that position my jaw got sore and throat was still too sore to finish properly.

So we traded places... sort of. He slid down my body, the rough-smooth touch of his skin making my squirm and moan this time, and his breath blowing hot on my thighs. 

Shaving

I shaved Jack today. 

Running my razor over the beautiful, delicate skin of his cock and balls. Watching the droplets pour down over his skin.

He's beautiful, in the running water. He doesn't believe it, but it's true. 

It started as a joke.

So much with us does. 

He was shaving his balls, something he started about a year ago, when I complained about getting hairs in my teeth. I watched (we always shower together) with my usual fascination. The soft scrape of the razor over that most sensitive of skin... most men will tell you that the skin of their balls is almost more sensitive than that of their cocks. Certainly more so than the shaft.

I've never dated another man willing to let me near his balls with something that sharp. 

But Jack will. 

He knows I prize those beautiful, dangling little toys far too much to ever harm them.

I teased him that the rest of his pubic hair was getting long enough to braid, and he started to do his usual careless trimming of it, running the razor lightly down the skin. 

I laughed, pointing out that that didn't work very well, leaving some hairs very long, and other patches nearly bare. It's, um, not his best look. 

You can always do it like I do, I pointed out, mischevious smile firmly in place. 

He raised an eyebrow at my nearly-grown-back-in mound. 

Here, I'll show you, I told him. I took the razor and dragged it down, over the fleshy mound that protects his cock and balls, stopping every swipe or so to rinse the razor. 

And slowly, so slowly, his beautiful skin was revealed. Slowly, with every swipe, I could see a little more of him. 

I knelt down, the razor in my hand, to better see what I was doing, water running down both of our skin.

I opened his thighs wide, exposing that vulnerable crease between thighs and groin, swiping the deadly sharp blade over it. Bare inches from his femoral artery.

Scraped it gently over his beautiful, beautiful cock, half-hard from my hands simply moving him around. 

Ran it over his balls, removing every last hair I could find. 

Kissed his cock gently, then accept his hand up, back to my feet. 

Then I used his thigh as a footstool to shave my own legs. 

My life rocks sometimes. 

Reposting

So I still don't feel like writing much- after 2 weeks of moving insanity, and another full week of Jack and I alternating being sick, the last thing on my mind is kink.

Ok, so it's still on my mind. And a lot, at that.

But the last thing I have energy to devote to is kink. 

So there. 

So I'm reposting this awesome bit of information from Catalina Loves. If you read the shit I write, then you almost certainly already know this, but I bet you know someone who doesn't. Tell them. Seriously. If everyone knew these things, the world would be a better place.

A friend of mine is a very high-end escort, a courtesan if you will.  A lot of our conversations revolve around how we would like to tap into our experiences in the sex industry to our benefits.   It gave me the idea to write this post about what I have learned about society and sexuality through other women’s husbands.  Because good things come in seven, I’ve thought of 7 lessons I’ve learned from men about men.

1) Your husband really doesn’t give a shit about your body.  Sure, he has a preference - thin or fat - but ultimately men aren’t as concerned with your bodies as you are.  Most men have told me that they are ultimately turned off the most by listening to their wives bitch and moan about their bodies and wish that they would just stop bitching about it and either do something about it or embrace it.  Let me assure you, my body is not perfect after two babies, but that is completely unimportant - what matters is that I act sexy even if my body isn’t society’s standard of sexy.

2) Your husband really wants you to give him more head and he really wants to go down on you more!  There are men I’ve known who have never, in 30 years of marriage, ever given or received oral sex because their wife simply won’t.  Some women have been taught that they smell bad or taste bad, or that oral sex is just nasty and won’t have a thing to do with it.   Not only do men want oral sex, but past clients of mine have paid me just to give me oral sex.  So let me get this straight, you want to pay me to get me off with your tongue?  God Bless America.

3) Your husband is as lonely as you are.  Try giving him a little attention, get off the internet and stop reading sex blogs and have sex (but not until you leave a comment, of course!)  Seriously, a lot of men are very lonely and just want to interact, married men who crave human touch are baffling to me - how can you sleep in the same bed and not touch each other?  Just touch him.  Give him a massage, rub his head, caress his thighs and give him the sweet attention that you would love to receive.

4) More men see sex workers than you’d think.  The responses I used to get were plentiful and made me wonder if anybody is monogamous or if everybody just claims to be.  People look down their noses at polyamory or open relationships as though they are morally questionable, yet those same people claim to be monogamously married while sleeping with a sex worker.  Apparently if you pay for sex it doesn’t count as cheating.

5) Men really do crave that threesome with another woman, but they would also be happy if you’d just talk about it and fantasize about it without getting uptight.  A lot of men have shared with me that they don’t know if they really could ever go through with a threesome, but that they think it would be hot to just talk about it in bed during sex with their wives.  However, these same men are afraid to even ask for this because of the negativity waterfall it will create by the mere mention of another woman.

6) Men love assplay.  As a sex worker, my best cients and most loyal customer base were men who solicited me because I would play with their ass and balls.  A lot of men (A LOT OF MEN!!) really love the idea of being taken by a woman with toys and even more men desire strap-on play but are afraid to tell their wives.  It’s a huge threat to their masculinity and a lot is at stake to ask for ass play, especially if your wife won’t even suck your cock (see #2).  Slide in a finger next time and play with his prostate just like he would with your g-spot and see what happens!  It’s an entirely different kind of orgasm and he will never forget it.

7) Men are willing to spend a lot of money when they are horny.  Men, I’m saying this because I feel like a lot of people think that women are the exploited ones in sex work, but I am willing to go out on a limb and say that men are the truly exploited ones - paying substantial amounts of money to fulfill a basic human need.

Happy birthday of a long-dead Roman god of soldiers. 

My party last night was wonderful, involving lots of food and random kissing and canoodling. 

I don't know how to tell you how very much my life rocks right now. 

Lunch date

His hand was wrapped around my throat. Such a pretty little neck, he said softly. Almost like it was made for my hand, he told me. I whimpered and nodded as best I could in his grip. 

Moments like this, I could believe that my body had been made for his touch.

His hand moved, fingers dug into that sensitive spot on my jaw, just below my ear. It hurt, and I made small pain sounds, writhing just a little against him. 

Do you want me to stop? he asked. 

I gave it a moments thought. I could hear the smile in his voice, the utter joy he feels at hurting me. I wanted him to keep feeling that joy.

No, I whispered. 

He dug in harder, another finger pressing into the sensitive spot just below my nose and I shivered with the effort it took not to fight his big hands. I whimpered, pressed tightly into him. 

A moment or an hour later, slowly, reluctance clear in his hands, he released me, his hands moving to cradle me against him. Good girl, he whispered to me. Good girl. 

Home

I'm alone tonight. Jack and the Navigator are at a hockey game, and I'm curled up on the couch with our two dogs (Sarah is still up for adoption, if you know someone interested, let me know!), writing and thinking. 

I'm happy right now. In that bone-deep contentment sort of way, that until now I had never felt for more than a few moments at a time. 

I am not escaping my life, as I once had to to feel happy. 

I am living it. 

I am living it here, in this new house which feels like mine (despite being rented!)

I am living it here, in the city I love. 

I am living it here, surrounded by people who love me. 

Lucivar asked me if I will go to the play parties tonight. 

I don't know, honestly. 

I don't really feel a need to. The knowledge that I live here now, and that they will be here regardless of whether I choose to go this night or not is strangely comforting. 

I don't feel my usual frantic drive to see everything, do everything, that I usually do when I am here. 

I don't have to do it this weekend. I live here now. 

There will be other weekends. 

And that single thought makes me happier and more content than I have been in years. 

Newsflash

Being curled up between two extremely attractive men being petted and fed ice cream just fucking rocks.
Seriously?
I am the luckiest woman on earth.

Shower sex, my style

I was in the bathroom, fresh from the shower. We've been moving for the last two days, so I hadn't had one in two days- yum!
So this, my first shower in my new home, was one to savor. I spent a good 45 minutes under the steaming water- washing and conditioning my hair, shaving from head to toe, lightly exfoliating... that whole girly shebang I so seldom give myself permission for.
When I finally got out, I perched on the edge of the tub and painted my toenails. They're now a soft, abalone-shell white.
It was during this that Jack walked in.
"Yum," he said, eyeing my again-naked pussy. I grinned.
"Yep," I responded, showing him that my 6 months of bleeding seems to be slowly dripping to a halt, and that I was therefore clean again.
He grinned back, sliding his hands up my calves.
I stiffened for a half-second, not totally expecting his immediate response, but then relaxed. If I still tasted off, he'd just stop, no reason to fret over it.

A moment later, for the first time in months, I felt his lips touch my pussy.
The sensation was electric (I always thought that was a silly phrase until last night!) and I gasped.
His tongue teased its way between my pussy lips and I whimpered softly.
He stayed that way, teasing me lightly, never quite making it to my clitoris, just teasing and licking and kissing my pussy lips as though they were the lips of my mouth.

All I could do was clench my fingers spasmodically around the little bottle of nail polish, forgotten in my fist.

I spent the rest of the night wet with anticipation.

Moved in

My fingers tingled when he drove away, and I could still feel the soft strands of his hair between their tips.
I could still feel the way his skin gave when I sank my nails into it, and hear the small sound he made.

I could still smell him on my skin, and the craving inside me grew with every step I took away.

HNT- Half-Naked Thursdays

Ramblings

We got the house.
We got the house.
We got the house.

We really, seriously, got the house.

Tomorrow morning at 10, we sign the lease and collect the keys. Our landlord is a *sweetheart* and the place is near Marta (public transportation) and easy access to the main roads.

I'm so.incredibly.thrilled.

HOLY SHIT WE GOT THE HOUSE!

To put my rantings over a rental house into context, you have to understand that this is the first time I have ever chosen my own place of residence.

I have lived with exes, and I inherited my house, but this is the first home of my own that I have ever chosen.

I'm so incredibly thrilled.

Checking in

No, I haven't felt like writing much lately.

Yes, I will eventually.

No, it probably won't be all that soon.

We might have found a house. We think we found a house. I'm going to call this afternoon and try to get the paperwork started.
Which means that this weekend will be The Big Move.

Oh, and Friday, grades come out.

So yeah. See Bella stressed.

There will be more sexy stuff eventually, just be patient.

Better

I'm starting to feel better.
Slowly, slowly. The better-ness is creeping up on little cat feet like fog. Slowly, quietly, so subtle that I almost dont notice it, until I look up and realize that it's wrapping gently around me, obscuring my stress like vision in the fog. I'm not on the edge of tears.
I can handle the thought of my responsibilities again.
I'm not ready to face them yet, but I can handle the thought of them again.

Yesterday, Jack and I finished our last exams, and we're anticipating pretty good grades this semester (I'm thinking 3 A's and a low B/high C), and we're now safe in Small Town, GA, with Terry and Lucivar.

Last night, I curled up in the hot tub with Lucivar, hiding under the hothot water from the chilly night air. We cuddled together- not hurting, not playing, not doing kinky things. Just cuddling and talking and relaxing as the buoyant water tried to lift me up and swirl me around with the jets of heat.
We came back inside, steaming in the chilly air and glowing pink to freshly-made oatmeal-butterscotch cookies (Terry is a phenomenal cook) and the loving companionship of our partners, and I just relaxed for a little while, surrounded by people I love.

It was one of the best nights of my life.

HNT- Half-Naked Thursdays

So I still don't have any good pictures of myself, so here's another one of/by someone else.

Courtesy Bad Man's Tumblr

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I haven't felt much like sharing the inside of my head, because it's a pretty ugly place right now.

My to-do list stretches ever-longer, and tomorrow are my last two exams and then the drive to Atlanta.

I'm exhausted, terrified, and burnt out. Packing and moving always depresses me- for most of my life, packing meant I'd been abandoned again, given away. It's proving nearly impossible to convince myself that this isn't the case this time.

You can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
-Anna Nalick, Breathe (2am)

I reached my fundables goal. Thank you so incredibly much.
Seriously. I don't know how to express how much it means to me.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled sexy stuff.